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Following the general rule of my life… I’m changing things up again…
Cant allow myself to get too comfortable in a rut.
I’ve got to keep moving forward until I’ve found my perfect slice of happiness.
Carving it a little here and there as I go… But now it’s time to break the mold again.
I’ve been keeping to myself.  Quiet and anti-social. It suited me for a while, but it is becoming like a security blanket… anytime anything happens I duck out of view and POOF!
I’m tired of Poofing.
So I figure its about time to start putting myself out there…

but I’m *scared* to put myself out there….
I’m afraid of getting hurt… again…

And to that I am going to apply a little bit of wisdom that my new boss imparted upon me last week…
He said “yeah, you’ve been through a lot… but GET OVER IT! – Have fun! Live your life.”

Okay that’s what I’m going to try now.  I think I’m ready and I’ve got things under control now.
I know who I am, and what I want, and certainly have plenty of experience with what I DON’T want…

I’m going to try something new… have some fun… meet some people… and all the while I’m going to just be me. {which is really the only person I could be, since I don’t have any kind of personality disorders or anything…}
And, yes… I am afraid to be “out there”  since it’s so much safer “in here” as I’ve mentioned before… But, I’ll get over it. =)

I’ll write again… soonish.
I plan on having some fun and interesting stories to share.

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So much has happened since my last post, but the general lesson learned has been that my recent positivity, and hard work combined with a dash of good luck, has seemingly become my recipe for a happier me!

Or so it seems lately, anyhow… Doors and windows have begun to open for me, and it feels so good to be truly out from under the rock I’ve been crushed by for so long!
I’ve reached a cross roads in my life, and I’m moving forward on a positive path.
I’ve found a new job {or, I should say – it found me…} and the potential for personal growth there is quite grand.
I’m excited, Motovated, and feeling a sort of pride.
I am proud that my efforts and endeavors have not gone unnoticed nor unnappreciated and I’m finally getting my chance to really climb to new heights.
It’s a little scary, because I’m completely on my own here… but I KNOW that I can do this.
I know I will work hard and do my best, and not give up.  And thats the best I can offer, but that should be plenty to build a success story out of this lovely new opportunity.  =)
I feel as though the pieces are really starting to come together in  my life.
I’m not looking to jynx it, and I’m not bragging.  I just HAD to share/ update.
I’m hopeful that things will continue to flow smoothly along this same current towards a bright shiny future for my family.
=)
Much Love to all! ❤

Its so nice to be able to wake up early again,
Get up and start my day, without that nagging weight of depression hanging on my shoulders.
My life is so much more simple than it once was, and I think I’ve finally gotten the hang of not complicating things in my own mind.
With this simplified approach to everything life has certainly been more enjoyable.
I’m pretty non-committal about nearly everything so that I don’t have any unnecessary pressure on me.
No expectations = less disappointment. So long as I know I am doing the right thing, and at the end of the day nothing devastating happens, I’m perfectly happy.
I still have my long term goals fixed in place, and I’m moving in the right direction, but with less to worry about in the short term, the more progress i can make… =)
I’ve been flexable with everything, and the lack of seriousness has made for a great deal of random laughter. =)

I feel like I have a newfound friendship with Joy again…
It’s been so long since the last time I really felt this good.
I’ve gone through all my phases of grief and disenchantment with the outside world and I’m happy again.
On my own… without the need for anyone else to help or give their approval.

I have this unfettered ability to appreciate everything I’ve got…
I’m improving at ignoring the BS…
and things are just falling into place.

Oh, Its so good to be happy again!
To having things move in the right direction with so much less friction!
It’s a huge relief, and I am truly enjoying the peace in my heart and mind that comes along with it.
Even my kids are feeling the change, They are less worried, bicker less, more interested in the real world and finally pulling away from the video games more.
No matter how much I tried, it simply was impossible to keep them from knowing that I was stressed out. And telling them that “everything is fine”  only made it worse.
But everything really is fine. Looking up even… And we just keep on keeping on.