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Something happened over time, though I discovered it all in one day… I realized I had lost my softness, yet didn’t quite gain the hard edge that might protect me…. I just sort of dissolved. It’s as though pieces of myself just fell away, into nothingness, like drops of rain from a cloud… a little at a time, drip, drop, until all that was left was the image of who I once was. Interactive, yet hollow. Conscious yet impossible to hold on to.
And there was no room for resentment or blame. The transformation was complete and there was no going back.
And I wondered if this was what I’d accidentally wished for?
I remembered being an ugly duck wishing to transform into something else, something invulnerable to the painful scrutiny of others…
And it dawned on me that yes, this is was the only magic I’d ever performed…
I made a girl disappear.

The Hush is coming.
I can sense it all around.
Dark shadowy tendrils reaching for me, whispers in velvet, elusive yet Burgeoning… Drifting Closer… Closer.
A raging quiet, building like a storm, surrounding me in smoky clouds of inky reticence…
The shroud of silence rises and falls upon me, leaving me restrained and obscured, muted and still.
I sink into it, unable to resist… Further and deeper until all else is snuffed out- and there is nothing left- only the hush…

From the moment we are born, and that first glimmer of light penetrates our primitive eyes, we are part of it.
We try to understand it, dissect it, lay it all out in a linear form, chart it, graph it, narrow it down into decorative boxes inside boxes inside more boxes still… We follow it and plan for it, we plot it, revisit it, remember it and look forward to it. We try to steal it, slow it down, stretch it out, run away from it, chase it down, and still we always eventually miss it. We are all bound to it, and bound together by it. We cannot change it, lie to it, or ever escape that we eventually, and inevitably, give every last speck of who and what we are to it. And it gives all of what it can to us, and when it stops… So too, do we.
Slaves to time, are we.

Again exposed, for none to see
A secret room where I can be
Released from cupboard box and bows
To be the girl that no one knows
Fully confident and strong
Dancing to a private song
Outside a world that locked away
The shining light and love of play
The witching hour nears it’s end
So cherish now this time we spend
Outside the box and off the shelf
The only time I am myself
A girl that’s free, a soul that’s true
A girl in love with only you
Until you shut me off again
And I will wear a different skin
A girl you’d hardly recognize
Because you compartmentalized
The heart and soul I gave you here
But you lock me up and hide from fear
Of giving in to happiness
Or showing signs of some weakness
Im Put aside and filed away
Till next time you want to play
Don’t be surprised to one day see
I’ve run away, escaped and free